scribbler

May 25, 2015 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

This poem is part of the workshop:

An Exploration of Style, Subject, and Critique

(Read More...)

INDIVIDUALITY (Haiku for exploration of style shop) <kettle>

Each person you pass
is their own singular brew
in unique kettle

— scribbler, May 25, 2015

About This Poem

Style/Type: Structured: Eastern

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: South Carolina, United States, USA

Favorite Poets: Frost, Burns, Longfellow, Poe, and Johnson. I guess you've noticed these are all past masters. Other than folks on site I don't read any contemporary poets .

Critiques

alidzain

11 years ago

Stan

The haiku's syllable count format is 5-7-5..
I counted 6 on your first line. Apart from that, I see no need for change and I liked the message in this poem.

Alid

scribbler

11 years ago

Hi Alid

Nothing like showing my lack of ability to count lol. Try it now.........stan

alidzain

11 years ago

I had to

hold one hand open so as to not lose count again lol.........stan

China Blue

11 years ago

Stan

6 on first count(need to lose one beat)
the rest follows through and makes sense
interesting use of words

scribbler

11 years ago

Hi Chrys

brevity stumps me
in writing things like Haiku
back to school I go

Rula

11 years ago

I thought you'll need to change the whole first line and maybe part of the second to maintain the message you wanted in a 5/7/5 haiku though I've seen haiku of different syllable count and we are not restricted by one in the workshop, I think.

scribbler

11 years ago

Hi Rula

Since writing Haiku in English is almost impossible then the least I can do is follow the generally accepted syllable count. Edit now done.........stan

judyanne

11 years ago

an excellent write imo

Not nature ... but haiku has opened a little and now is not always restricted to that...
I think this is very clever, and thought-provoking .... just what haiku is supposed to be, except it seems to be missing a good cutting line....
Love judy
xxx

scribbler

11 years ago

Hey Judy

Not Too bad for such a long winded guy who got Senryu mixed up with Haiku lol. Haste not only makes waste it also makes me stupid apparently .........stan