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S
scribbler
May 25, 2015 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)
This poem is part of the workshop:

An Exploration of Style, Subject, and Critique

(Read More...)

INDIVIDUALITY (Haiku for exploration of style shop) <kettle>

Each person you pass
is their own singular brew
in unique kettle

About This Poem

Style/Type: Structured: Eastern

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: South Carolina, United States, USA

Favorite Poets: Frost, Burns, Longfellow, Poe, and Johnson. I guess you've noticed these are all past masters. Other than folks on site I don't read any contemporary poets .

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Comments

alidzain

alidzain

10 years 11 months ago

Stan

The haiku's syllable count format is 5-7-5..
I counted 6 on your first line. Apart from that, I see no need for change and I liked the message in this poem.

Alid

S

scribbler

10 years 11 months ago

Hi Alid

Nothing like showing my lack of ability to count lol. Try it now.........stan

S

scribbler

10 years 11 months ago

I had to

hold one hand open so as to not lose count again lol.........stan

China Blue

China Blue

10 years 11 months ago

Stan

6 on first count(need to lose one beat)
the rest follows through and makes sense
interesting use of words

S

scribbler

10 years 11 months ago

Hi Chrys

brevity stumps me
in writing things like Haiku
back to school I go

Rula

Rula

10 years 11 months ago

hello Stan

I thought you'll need to change the whole first line and maybe part of the second to maintain the message you wanted in a 5/7/5 haiku though I've seen haiku of different syllable count and we are not restricted by one in the workshop, I think.

S

scribbler

10 years 11 months ago

Hi Rula

Since writing Haiku in English is almost impossible then the least I can do is follow the generally accepted syllable count. Edit now done.........stan

judyanne

judyanne

10 years 11 months ago

an excellent write imo

Not nature ... but haiku has opened a little and now is not always restricted to that...
I think this is very clever, and thought-provoking .... just what haiku is supposed to be, except it seems to be missing a good cutting line....
Love judy
xxx

S

scribbler

10 years 11 months ago

Hey Judy

Not Too bad for such a long winded guy who got Senryu mixed up with Haiku lol. Haste not only makes waste it also makes me stupid apparently .........stan