A Mantle of Wonder

whisper to me in dark places,
unshackling my mute form

revive the thousand voices,
I have sustained in a forever
unspoken and formless
so as to be forgotten,
it was in a night-scape,
the void of sound
negated speech

I break into flight,
with an oath choking
on my first cry

I drift on the hair of my nape,
as the weave of my cloth
spirals, for a moment

as gums bleed out
the rhythm in my shade, refrains

I ask of you,
caress me in the softness
of mourning,
whisper to me of dark places

for now,
I am a broken vow of silence
spoken in a thousand tongues

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Beyond the Black Stump..Australia, AUS

Favorite Poets: Pablo Neruda, P.K.Page, W.H.Auden, to many and various to include them all ...

Comments

Josephus

13 years ago

Jayne this is such a well

Jayne this is such a well written work expressing pain and anguish internalized and hidden seeking a heart to listen and care. "I break. Into flight with an oath choking on my first cry" is just wracked with emotion; almost too painful to read.

You have a talent. I thoroughly enjoy your work however the word "enjoy" seems inappropriate in this instance.... Possibly "being compelled" would fit in this case

Seren

13 years ago

Dear Joe

Thank you so much for the read and review its always appreciated
I plan to edit this some more a few things that need tweaking

thanks again for the visit

love Jayne-Chloe

Seren

13 years ago

double post

Ian.T

13 years ago

Jayne

Beautifully written, is this a cry from the past, echoing across the void to your thoughts if you allow it too bother you..
It is hard to quiet a thousand tongues when they are carried on the ether.
Yet you do, and there you are writing with a description, so that it goes away for ever ??
Take care young Lady and know we think of you,
Yours Ian.T and friends

Seren

13 years ago

Ian

thanks for the read and the comment I appreciate your time and your thoughts

love always JC x