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lowdownlady
Member since March 2, 2012
Member for 14 years, 3 months
member
2
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25
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Flung From The Nest
It was November the last time you touched me.
It was November and the leaves had done their changing.
Winter was calling, coaxing them to curl,
beckoning brown where Autumn had lit them.
In my head you are still at the foot of my bed.
One lightbulb humming golden on our skin.
This is how memory moves.
You are long and you are pale
but I remember you pink.
So you are pink. You are a poison.
Do you remember me laying on the floor that night?
I watched you from below.
All was light.
We laugh harder when we don’t call it love.
Read the rest of the poem Show less
That, or it was the drugs.
Was it the pills
that kept the care from crushing me
flat
when, trembling,
you told me the truth?
It is what kept me from crying
when you like a lion
slunk in hungry eyeing,
and eager and empty and fierce
crashingdownonme
came
down
to feast on your prey.
You bit in before I could say:
You are a burden, and I am a beauty
and it is my duty to carry you close. Old lover,
I love you, but can’t love you rightly,
and so take me tightly, lift me and then thrust me far.
lowdownlady’s timeline
- March 2022
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02 WedAnniversary
10 years of membership
- March 2017
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02 ThuAnniversary
5 years of membership
- March 2013
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02 SatAnniversary
One year of membership
- March 2012
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05 MonReceived a critique
on Flung From The Nest from @Nordic cloud
""crashingdownonme came down to feast on your prey."...do you need the came and down -after -crashing down on me? I agree with Wesley about the line arrangements. I specially liked this entrance:- "It was November the la…" -
04 SunReceived a critique
on Flung From The Nest from @wesley snow
"like China I'm obviously late to this party. I hope you're ready to work. No one here will ever be mean to you (except Weirdelf and he's more bark than bite, a real pussy cat to mix similes), but when we get to know you…" -
04 SunReceived a critique
on Flung From The Nest from @loved
"I can hardly add on but brevity is my cup of tea." -
04 SunNew follower
@Starlight
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03 SatCritiqued
"The Ana (Creation Story) part four" by @wesley snow
"phew, such loaded language. i'm intrigued. going to start to read from the beginning!" -
03 Sat
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03 SatCritiqued
"Dancers" by @Candlewitch
"whoa, mama. what emotion. incredible vocabulary you've got there, you've totally mastered what words to put where to make a person feel. i've lived this poem a lot of times over." -
03 SatCritiqued
"Season Of The Bitch" by @Lonnie
"Love love love this! Is the title a play on "Season of the Witch" by Donovan? One of my favorite songs! Truly captures the wrath we women often harness. Made me smile in recognition of a few ladies I know." -
03 SatReceived a critique
on Flung From The Nest from @China Blue
"I see I got here late , it has all been said before me. But let me just say once again I find something very unusual about your writing but it i a nice unusual. I too like the line that Esker pointed out. Very vivid in…" -
03 SatReceived a critique
on The Silent Siren from @China Blue
"Candlewitch suggested I read your work. she was so very right. There is something in your writing that is fresh and new and a pleasure to read. I look forward to reading more Chrys" -
03 SatReceived a critique
on Flung From The Nest from @weirdelf
"I see you are already entering into the spirit of Neopoet. Had to laugh "write poetry, sleep, and marvel at space", couldn't have put it better myself!" -
03 SatReceived a critique
on The Silent Siren from @weirdelf
"The second stanza reads like separate lines so a simple conjunction should fix it. Something like- I swam in Cold, cold, murky waters, deep black sockets. See what I mean? You'll often get conflicting feedback here. Tak…" -
03 SatReceived a critique
on Flung From The Nest from @Eduardo Cruz
"talk about jumping into the pool, you have truly gotten some great comments on your poem. what a pleasure it is to have writers come and join our family. Eddie" -
03 SatNew follower
@Candlewitch
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03 SatCritiqued
"Saudades" by @Geremia
"truly beautiful. wise words. i get a consoling vibe from it. i'm a little confused about the last line though. (and those who speak "eternity"/long a forever)" -
02 Fri
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02 FriCritiqued
"A Dark Minds Vista" by @Eduardo Cruz
"This one's heavy! Very weighted. Stellar word choices, really sets the sinister tone. I also like the subtle alliteration, very understated, rolls smoothly off the tongue: "dancing demands" "Barriers burn like flaming f…" -
02 FriFirst critique offered
on "A Dark Minds Vista" by @Eduardo Cruz
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02 Fri
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02 Fri
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02 FriFirst publication
The Silent Siren
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02 Fri
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02 FriJoined Neopoet
Membership begins
First poem published 1 days later.
About Me
About me
I like to write poetry, sleep, and marvel at space.
Location: New Jersey, USA
Favorite Poets
Leonard Cohen
Eric Gamalinda
Margaret Atwood
Marty McConnell
Sylvia Plath
Charles Bukowski
Sandra Cisneros
Recent Work
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