IRiz

Member since November 23, 2017

Member for 8 years, 6 months

advocate member

108 Poems

1,667 Comments

5 Followers

Most recent

The Word

Posted Aug 9, 2019 · 32 lines · 19 critiques

Through the hole in the curtain
I look at the sky.
Its colors are slowly blanching.
Naked branches are drawn
by a careless hand: black lines,
dimly gleaming tangle,
wet bark and new torrents
beneath a cloudy blanket
Russians would call туман [toomun].

My darling, I know the word
but will never pronounce it.
It wouldn't be right.
And only at night
hidden behind the curtain

Read the rest of the poem Show less

from self and all my unraveling versions
I mouth the word,
I taste its short vowels
that cannot be heard.

I melt sparkling silence
that Russians call лёд [leart].
I talk about the colors
slowly soaked into a welcoming darkness,
the faraway towns, turrets,
resounding bells,
and where they call us,
about the life once chosen,
and journeys with no return.

I talk still tasting the word
I long to pronounce,
still rolling it on my tongue,
dissolving, unfolding
from sweet to forlorn.

IRiz’s timeline

November 2022
23 Wed

Anniversary
5 years of membership
November 2021
17 Wed

Critiqued
"Scratch-Off Spring" by @gregwa8
"hey, it has been ages since last time i visit it is a pleasure to see you are still writing i think you might want to add a bit more of a drama in the poem, add how you feel about it the poem is purely descriptive and t…"
August 2019
16 Fri

Critiqued
"You Rule My Darkness" by @Patricia
"Hey, B9Pat! Glad to find a new face here. You wrote a lovely poem. I have some suggestions: "dreamlike sleep" is a confusing combination of words. Did you mean I walk as if in an eerie dream In desperate need of rest. I…"
16 Fri

Critiqued
"Summer Love (July Contest)" by @Sparrow
"Hello Sparrow! Nice poem. I found the first stanza to be very poetic! The hole poem in the style of a folk song comes together with it. The last one is a little out of the style. Not sure I like the words "without fuss…"
15 Thu

Received a critique
on The Word from @quillsveinback
"I always enjoy your poems; you seem to me singularly honest, particularly about your individuated plight in life. So many people like to cover it in gloss and nonsense; there is none of this with your work, which I hope…"
14 Wed

Critiqued
"The Cities Below" by @Eumolpus
"Mark, It is always a pleasure to read your poems. I like it. My question is whether you considered writing a poem about the subject positioning your reader closer to the ground. You make me feel as if I am flying above…"
14 Wed

Critiqued
"Summer of Ten... [August Contest] [East Main St story]" by @Geezer
"Hi Geezer, Thank you for sharing this fantastic poem. It felt like travel into a different world and there is only one way to get there, it is through your poem. I am absolutely enchanted. I want to read more of it not…"
11 Sun

Received a critique
on The Word from @zebra
"its the most taboo subject and the most difficult thing to say , to write about , it is beyond dangerous to feel and nothing will brighten your life more or destroy faster Love Z"
11 Sun

Received a critique
on The Word from @tyro
"Hi IRiz, I really enjoyed your poem. It made me think of the period when the great Russian poets often spoke of 'Mother Russia' and their love for her. I also picked up a heavy feel of nostalgia. "from self and all her…"
10 Sat

Critiqued
"Return to Night" by @Dalton
"Since then I traveled so much! I just returned from Switzerland. Hiking in Alps is the best activity i can imagine. I was in Puerto Rico this Spring, skiing tour in the west this winter Colorado, Utah, Wyoming. And also…"
10 Sat

Received a critique
on The Word from @Geezer
"describe it as deliberate, careful, maybe [ artless, naïve ]. Nice job! Me a treat? Thank you very much! ~ Geezer. ."
10 Sat

Critiqued
"Trump Says..." by @Geezer
"Most interesting read. Small thing: "Healing meds" does not come together, I think. One of them is enough. How about removing "healing"? For example: I pay my illegal help real good, Don't want them squealing to the Fed…"
10 Sat

Received a critique
on The Word from @zebra
"love"
10 Sat

Received a critique
on The Word from @zebra
"love"
09 Fri

Received a critique
on The Word from @Eumolpus
"love this I talk about the colors slowly soaked into a welcoming darkness, the faraway towns, turrets, resounding bells, and where they call us, about the life once chosen, and journeys with no return. nice everything…"
09 Fri

Critiqued
"The Story of Her" by @Marthalyn
"Nice to know! Thanks. No changes needed. But I think the word "free" implies some superiority over time. Because if it is only for limited time it is not freedom. The same with love, "to love forever" sounds weaker than…"
09 Fri

Received a critique
on The Word from @lovedly
"ok understood"
09 Fri

Posted a poem
The Word
"Through the hole in the curtain"
Open thread 32 lines
December 2018
12 Wed

Posted a poem
A Frying Pan for One
"Sometimes I feel I don't have a body"
Open thread 28 lines
10 Mon

Posted a poem
Was I a mollusk? Who will I become?
"Brittle shells --"
Open thread 34 lines
09 Sun

Posted a poem
Converted
"I am baptized with a wave"
Open thread 23 lines
04 Tue

Posted a poem
To look into her eyes and laugh
"Usually life is long enough"
Open thread 30 lines
November 2018
27 Tue

Posted a poem
TOO LONG
"I am sorry it took me too long"
Open thread 29 lines
23 Fri

Anniversary
One year of membership
20 Tue

Posted a poem
The Usual Picture
"Quiet dawn."
Open thread 14 lines
18 Sun

Posted a poem
What i like and what i love
"I like when road leads to the sky."
Open thread 22 lines
11 Sun

New follower
@Dalton
07 Wed

Posted a poem
I am Smiling
"After many days of rain"
Open thread 36 lines
04 Sun

Posted a poem
Hope
"Stems tremble."
Open thread 29 lines
October 2018
30 Tue

Posted a poem
Kite
"Girls and seagulls cry on the shore."
Open thread 28 lines
28 Sun

Posted a poem
I am a Book and Its Writer
"Too many errors, corrections,"
Open thread 18 lines
26 Fri

New follower
@zebra
June 2018
23 Sat

Most-discussed work
Ode to the Guard

30 critiques to date.
21 Thu

Critique milestone
1,000 critiques given
May 2018
11 Fri

New follower
@tyro
10 Thu

New follower
@gregwa8
December 2017
15 Fri

Highest posting month
December 2017 — 14 poems
November 2017
24 Fri

First critique offered
on "The Reach" by @themoonman
23 Thu

First publication
Where do we all go?
23 Thu

Joined Neopoet
Membership begins

First poem published 1 days later.

About Me

About me

I am still learning, my poems are growing longer (kidding).
Find me of Facebook.

Location: Washington DC, USA

Favorite Poets

Matsuo Bashō

Sylvia Plath

Charles Bukowski

TS Eliot

William Carlos Williams

Joseph Brodsky

Boris Pasternak

DH Lawrence

Robert Frost

Contest Wins

This member has not yet won any contests.

Workshops

		Skill level:
Implied Imagery SHOP Here we go !	(syllabus)	Splash Pool	Started 2018-11-16	Concluded
Basic and Essential Meter	(syllabus)	Splash Pool	Started 2018-04-12	Concluded
UNFINISHED WORKS	(syllabus)	Splash Pool	Started 2018-03-28	Concluded
Sunku: beyond rhyme and rhythm, search for new structures in short form	(syllabus)	Wading Pool, Splash Pool, Olympic Pool, Shark Pool, Plunge Pool	Started 2018-02-11	Concluded
Poets first poems	(syllabus)	Splash Pool	Started 2017-06-23	Concluded

5 years of membership

"Scratch-Off Spring" by @gregwa8

"You Rule My Darkness" by @Patricia

"Summer Love (July Contest)" by @Sparrow

on The Word from @quillsveinback

"The Cities Below" by @Eumolpus

"Summer of Ten... [August Contest] [East Main St story]" by @Geezer

on The Word from @zebra

on The Word from @tyro

"Return to Night" by @Dalton

on The Word from @Geezer

"Trump Says..." by @Geezer

on The Word from @zebra

on The Word from @zebra

on The Word from @Eumolpus

"The Story of Her" by @Marthalyn

on The Word from @lovedly

One year of membership

1,000 critiques given

December 2017 — 14 poems

on "The Reach" by @themoonman

Membership begins

About Me

Recent Work

Contest Wins

Workshops

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